What Is Relationship Burnout?

All relationships have their ups and downs. There is no reason to panic if things aren’t going perfectly right now. Most relationships are new and exciting initially, but things might seem like they could be better as time passes.  

Like everything valuable in life, relationships require maintenance to keep thriving. That means that all parties in the relationship must put in the effort. Failure to do so could lead to relationship burnout. While there is no single cause for relationship burnout, several factors can contribute to it. However, realize that relationship burnout does NOT mean you stopped loving your partner.

What Is Relationship Burnout?

woman covering her face with hands

The beginning of a relationship is sometimes known as the “honeymoon phase,” marked by the excitement of new experiences and the joy of spending time together. However, relationship burnout can set in once this initial phase ends, typically when things start feeling routine. While becoming more at ease with a romantic partner is natural, individuals with certain attachment types may struggle with feelings of disinterest once the initial novelty diminishes. Ultimately, relationship burnout is when someone gradually becomes detached from their partner. 

What Are The Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles are how you bond and form relationships with others. These styles typically develop in early relationships with parents or caregivers. Those who didn’t have positive parental figures may have an insecure attachment style, which can lead to relationship burnout. Overall, there are four main attachment styles.

Anxious Attachment Style 

The anxious attachment style, also known as “preoccupied,” is characterized by a negative self-view but a positive perception of others. Individuals with this attachment style may actually believe that their partner is the “better half.” Despite feeling unworthy of love, they intensely fear abandonment and crave security in their relationships.

Avoidant Attachment Style 

The avoidant attachment style, also known as “dismissive,” contrasts with the anxious attachment style. People with this attachment style generally have a positive self-image but a negative perception of others. They are typically very independent and may not feel the necessity of a relationship to feel fulfilled. However, they often struggle with expressing emotions and initiating intimacy.

Disorganized Attachment Style

The disorganized attachment style, also known as “fearful-avoidant,” incorporates elements from both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles. Individuals with this attachment style often exhibit inconsistent social behaviors. They both fear and desire romantic relationships. Though they long for love, they struggle to trust others, which can lead to emotional turmoil. 

Secure Attachment Style 

The previous attachment styles were all insecure, while the final one allows for freely expressing emotions. Individuals with secure attachment styles can depend on their partner and, in turn, have their partner rely on them. They thrive in relationships but are also comfortable with being alone and have a favorable view of themselves and others.

How Will Knowing The Styles Help With Relationship Burnout?

Understanding the four attachment styles can help overcome relationship burnout, as insecure attachments can contribute to it and lead to relationship issues. By learning about these attachment styles, you and your partner can collaborate to build a more secure attachment and improve your relationship. 

If you find that the two of you may need help on this journey, there is no shame in considering couples counseling. Couples counseling has helped so many couples overcome problems and issues. If you believe your relationship is worth fighting for, couples counseling is a great way to strengthen your romantic bond and partnership.

Relationship burnout can be fixed,  and no relationship has to end because of it.

If you would like to learn more about relationship burnout and the four attachment styles, feel free to contact me.

(1.) https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/